A leader who sleeps badly is often the last to notice. The team notices first: a curt answer in a meeting, less patience, a remark that lands harder than intended.
What poor sleep does to your leadership
Christopher Barnes has studied sleep and work for years. In Harvard Business Review he writes that 42 percent of leaders worldwide average six hours of sleep or less. Too little rest leads to poorer decisions, less self-control and less creativity. And leaders who sleep badly are more likely to mistreat their people. As a result, employees become less engaged (HBR).
In an earlier study, Barnes and his colleagues followed leaders and their teams for ten working days. After a bad night, the leader had less self-control and was more often hostile, and on that same day the team’s work engagement dropped. What mattered most was the quality of sleep, less so the number of hours (Academy of Management Journal).
Sleep is often a consequence. Someone who is physically unwell, feels pressure at work or keeps worrying about something sleeps worse. A leader is only human, just like everyone else on the team.
“Sorry, everyone, I’m not sleeping well”
Ronald Warmerdam of IMPACT on the Job recently saw in a leadership team what happens when someone is open about this. One member had been rather short during the meeting. At the end, he said: “Sorry, everyone, I’m not sleeping well. I’m not getting my hours. I’m not resting properly. I’m worn out. I really can’t go on like this.”
What struck Ronald was how the others responded. Colleagues said: “Hey, I recognise that.” Or: “Can I help? What’s going on?” Simply saying it, telling his story and being heard already helped a lot. “We can’t always solve everything for each other,” says Ronald. “But at the very least we can listen to each other and try to show understanding.”
Why we take it personally
When a colleague snaps at you, your brain quickly relates it to yourself. You think: he is angry with me. While something quite different may be going on, such as a few bad nights.
According to Ronald, this is often where things go wrong. Because the other person was short with you, you become a bit annoyed yourself. Starting a conversation then feels like a step too far: if anyone should make a move, it is him. So two people wait for each other, and the conversation that could have helped never happens.
How to make it something you can talk about
- Say it when it applies to you. You do not have to tell everything. A short sentence such as “I’m sleeping badly and I notice I’m shorter with people because of it” gives your team context. Without it, they fill in the gaps themselves.
- Don’t take it personally too quickly. When a colleague is short with you, first ask yourself whether something other than you might be going on.
- Open the conversation. Say what you see: “I notice you’re a bit short today. What’s going on?”
- Don’t fill in the blanks for the other person. Ask questions. You do not know what is going on until you ask.
- Listen, even if you cannot solve it. Being heard already helps. A solution can come later, or together with others.
Want to read more about teams where people feel safe enough to say something like this? Read More effective teams through psychological safety and Trust in teams and the emotional bank account.
How does your team experience your leadership?
With the Responsible Leadership Scale (VLS) from Leiders.nl, you can see how employees experience the leadership in their team, including at moments when things are not going so well. The Employee Engagement Survey (MBO) shows for each team how much energy there is and where it drains away. Also read Burnout vs work engagement: how to recognise it, what causes it and how to prevent it.
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