Many organisations do their best to thank their people. Everyone gets a gift voucher, there is an employee of the month, there are treats. Yet many people still do not feel truly seen.
Feeling valued is more than belonging
In Harvard Business Review, Zach Mercurio writes about mattering: the feeling that you are significant. You feel valued and you know that you add value. That is different from belonging. Belonging means the group accepts you. Mattering means you are significant to the people around you (HBR).
People who feel they matter are more satisfied, are more likely to be promoted and are less likely to leave. Yet according to the polls Mercurio cites, 65 percent of people feel underappreciated and 30 percent feel invisible at work. His conclusion: awards, free lunches and recognition programmes are no substitute for what a manager does personally. People need to experience, in their contact with others, that their contribution is unique.
Christopher Littlefield, also in HBR, shows that it pays off. He refers to research in which employees whose managers were great at recognising them were more than 40 percent more engaged than others. They were more confident, went beyond what was required and were less likely to quit (HBR).
Small and sincere works best
Paul van Heeringen of IMPACT on the Job sees in management teams what works. Sincere appreciation, expressed in a small circle of colleagues, makes a huge difference. Others can see it, but it stays very modest.
Putting someone on a stage often works less well. “Usually that’s not what the other person wants,” says Paul. “They may even feel uncomfortable about it. That’s why an employee of the month is rarely a good idea.”
For the same reason, gift vouchers sent to everyone across the company do less. They are not personal.
Say what you are grateful for, and why
A thank-you only really lands when you link it to what the other person did. And to what that means for your team goals, or for the atmosphere in the team. According to Paul, that takes a moment’s thought. “Otherwise you just say: thank you. And then the question is whether the other person understands what you are grateful for.”
So think about three things:
- What exactly did the other person do?
- Why are you grateful for it?
- What difference did it make for the team or for what you want to achieve together?
Write a note
Paul recently experienced for himself how well a written thank-you works. “It sounds really old-fashioned,” he says. “But a short note in which you write out properly: I want to take this opportunity to thank you for this and this. That does a world of good.”
It works because of the attention in it. Someone took the trouble to write down what you did.
Also read Leadership is listening: how to do it in a hybrid team and Engaging leadership: how to recognise an engaged leader.
How seen do your people feel?
With the Employee Engagement Survey (MBO) from Leiders.nl, you can see for each team how much energy and dedication there is. The Responsible Leadership Scale (VLS) shows how employees experience the leadership in their team.
